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Living Your Purpose
by wah!

Living your purpose means you are internally unified by one theme, one direction. Externally, things may be disorganized, looking great or looking terrible – it doesn’t matter. Living your purpose is your connection to spirit which continues regardless of what is happening in your life. Can you choose your purpose? I don’t think so. Your purpose is something you decide before you even take an incarnation. You sit with your angel, your guide, and decide on an appropriate life that will work on the weaknesses of your soul. How about a life in Michigan with one parent? Nah. A poor Russian family who leads the community? Nah. How about Cleveland with an alcoholic parent – you can learn compassion and rise above abuse. Ahh, perfect. Your purpose in life is learning and leading in a compassionate way, finding integrity in people and experiences which are less than par.

Can you change your purpose? I don’t think so. Only one purpose per lifetime. Grumble all you want, yours is a lifetime of single direction. Many lessons, one goal. Align with your purpose, and your life opens up. Misalign and your spirit suffocates. For me, when I am living my purpose, every aspect of my life challenges me to grow. Sometimes when my external life is falling apart, I feel my purpose more strongly.

When I was younger, I was quite proud of the yoga and meditation I had accomplished. I felt I was living my purpose. I had joined an ashram – they had given me superior techniques to practice asana and meditation. I was told where to go, when to sleep, what to eat, who to marry, and how to be. So I didn’t have to decide anything. It was easy, in a way – I couldn’t take credit or blame for anything. “Ah you are wonderful!” was a reflection of my Guru. “You are a mess!” was also a reflection of my Guru, and his ongoing work with me. In some ways, I was living my teacher’s purpose more than my own. I put myself into the teacher training system and became a star student. I didn’t really find myself; I found a system. However, it was an integral and valuable part of my self-discovery.

People tell me, “I wish I had gotten into yoga sooner.” I don’t believe this. You can’t edit your life, changing the order of circumstances and experiences. Each person’s discovery process is perfect and complete exactly as it unfolds. You wanted it sooner? I don’t think so. You had other things to experience first, so you could be open to learning the yoga.

I didn’t find my purpose and live it. I lived it, and my purpose became defined by my living it. I didn’t start my life saying “I’m going to learn yoga and meditation.” My past lifetimes brought me to it. I couldn’t find a job that would stick. The earth was boring to me. At age seven, I was reading minds. It drove my parents crazy. “How does she know that? She wasn’t there when we talked about that.” I was a curious, thirsty child. As an adult, I am still driven by my thirst for spiritual understanding. Does it have a name? Let me ask you, does it need to have a name? One day as I was talking with Alison Granucci, the program director at Omega Institute, she said, “Wah!, this is not a 9-5 job for you is it? It seems you have dedicated your whole life to spirit.” And so we called my retreats Dedicating Your Life to Spirit. Could I have come up with a name for my purpose? Definitely not. Only sports commentators can give play by play narration. I am compelled to live it.

I went and found a Guru because I wanted my karmas to be finished. I saw an astrologer and he said, “What are you doing?! You are trying to finish everything in this lifetime? You are doing eleven lifetimes in one. Your teacher is only doing three. What is your hurry?” I said, “I’m going to get liberated. I’m going to get off the planet! Ha ha!” And he said, “Hmmm, no I don’t think so. You have many more lifetimes after this.” “Oh.” Well, that burst my bubble. And then what was my hurry? As I started to relax, it got really difficult. I had to live with myself and my idiosyncrasies.

There is no right way to live this life. There is no right way to practice yoga or chanting. There is no way to secure Wall Street. You will not win at Monopoly every time. It’s a play. The sequence of your life is something you created to instigate the most growth in you. Success has nothing to do with it. Certain things you hold dear. It’s just the way it is. You are attracted to some things and other things don’t hold your attention. If something triggers a reaction, there’s something there for you to discover. An experience could trigger love or anger, it’s still a reaction. Look into that. There’s something there.

Your triggers will be different than mine. I’m always looking for something. I have to learn to find nothing. The more I get to nothing, the better it is. But for me that’s scary. I want to have 12 steps, at least I can know what step I’m on. I want to do Series I or Series II, be a teacher or a student. It’s not possible. I am just walking, traveling, meeting people. Sharing my experience and listening to others. Is this a purpose? I think it is. The more I live it, the more I open up to who I am.

You might think you know what you are doing. You might be going to school, getting a degree, or teaching yoga. It doesn’t matter. All that will change. Listen to your heartfelt desires. They will lead you beyond your definitions. Better to say ‘I am going’ and nothing more. Allow yourself to come forward in full expression. It’s permission to be whoever you are. And then you will see how it all ties together to reveal your unique purpose in this life.

Wah! is a musician and spiritual seeker who travels the world singing and expanding sacred intention. You can reach her through www.wahmusic.com